What am I to do? Like do I continue to fight for something that appears to be non-existant? Or do I just let go with hopes that it would iron itself out? I mean its a hard decision make solely because I have put ALL that I have into this for at least the past four years. So on one hand I am tired of the continuous dead ends,however, I feel like I put too much in just to give up. I feel like I’m not good enough to be with but too good to let go. So here I am stuck at the threshhold not knowing when I’m in or when I am out. I feel like I’m a sucker for being a real man in the times where real men is non existant. Like why must everything be difficult? Is love something that only comes at death? Must I die 2 be given the love that is said to be there for me? If so I’ll rather we just act as if I’m dead, so I can receive it. Where are the people that claim to be successful in an area we are lacking at? Why are they wasting valueble fucking time just talking down upon me? When does S.O.S. mode kick in? Do they even care enough to do that? I was always told don’t look down upon a man unless u can pick him up. Do us both a favor and step over me cause I’ve tried everything I can. I reached out for help no one reached back. So please except my FUCK YOU because I won’t continue to feel as if I’m the wrong one. Its no worst feeling than people on the outside praising you for something that people on the inside overlook, take for granted or don’t appreciate. When is ok to stop fighting? Like when can I get up and find some one to nurse my bruises? I’m tired and at my wits end, I have tried to save you from falling off the cliff because I know I won’t feel like myself without you here. But you not even lettin me help you back up, as if u wanna fall. Damn. I’m tired of thinking and stressing myself out. Yea that’s the answer. What’s meant to be will be. You don’t have to force anyone to cash a million dollar check, if they want it they are going to get it. Love is no different, so today I will stop thinking it so. And for you, make a descision before its too late, I won’t be here forever.